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WISH
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English Poetry |
Wish I could be a Tree
and feels the Earth beneath
spreading my branches free
giving shelter to all thee.
Birds make their nest
when tired, come to rest.
As green as I could be
standing calm, all by me.
Wind blows
spreading my flowers
all over the road.
When I bear fruits
feels myself so cute
Atmosphere near me
fills with sweet fragrance
tiny little hands
all come for a chance
birds and bees fills me
chirping and jumping
all over me.
Oh! What a wish
I just had
Wish, my wish to come true
and make me all glad.
~~25/05/08
Hi Parul- nice thoughts except a couple of things …to make it even better.
– 2nd line should be ‘and feel the earth beneath.
-4th stanza- ‘feels myself so cute” doesnt gel.it should be ‘feel’ and cute doesnt seem an appropriate word for the feeling.
grammatical stricture spoilt the flow…re-working could certainly make it a good read…all the best Parul..
thanks fr yr read.. n yes i will try to restructure it ….
thanks for pointing out my mistakes…
will keep in mind ….
🙂 keep reading n have a good day..
nice idea
thanks..:)
parul
“WISH”ek achchhi kalpna hai,badhi
kamlesh kumar diwan
Hoshangabad m.p.
thanks…
Hie Parul,
Its a really Nice Verse….
The Best thing is Personification…. Well Done Dear.
thanks fr liking the personification in it..
Poem-“Wish” is lovely and imaginative
and good style.
@medhini, thanks Medhini fr liking my style… 🙂