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Blood
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English Poetry |
Freedom from blood,
drained in mud,
it couldn’t live long,
neither pulled along.
The dirt blew red,
stains of it spread,
some wore it colored
and followed the word.
Blood pours for freedom
everytime though,
on vows of a mother
who never wished the stir.
Blood over the green valleys
kneeled on knees,
drenched in her son’s blood
weeps red, weeps dead.
Dear All,
Right now I am struggling to put words and poems together, I dont know why,
Here’s an attempt……….
Please comment
Regards
Ulhas Kavle
This is quite a beautiful poem.
I liked it, but it does show some struggle in its composition and evolution, more so because of you comment.
I feel you are trying or struggling too hard to compose something better than what you naturally can and such expectations often puts a person in a disability mood. Just be natural without any expectation from yourself and let poetry find its way through you, for poetry has discovered talent in you. Also in such situation try reading and appreciating good poems of others and then soon your mood & inspiration returns.
Felt like writing as above reading your comment, for most of us do go through such phases often and have to recover accordingly.
@Vishvnand,
After my poem – “Soon Home”……………..I am totally blocked………….I guess I have put all I have, in that poem.
Thanks for the comment…………….I really appreciate that…………………..and Now I get very little time for P4P,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lot of work at office…………
Thank you very much for your comments sir……………Signing off……………
hi ulhas,
not a struggleat all,
wid the short sentences u’v used, goes fine & reveals ur thots 🙂
@viju,
Thanks, if you think so………….but there was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,thanks………
dear Ulhas ji
i loved the poem and its theme
,well chosen words, with good flow
,a nice poem
@rajdeep bhattacharya,
Thank you sir,……,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A nice poem with the apt choice of words.
May be lack of time causes a struggle like
feeling in you. It’s only a passing phase.
@medhini,
Thanks a lot………
words have flowed and jelled well this poem
@Parespeare,
Thanks sir, thanks parikshit……………….
Ulhas my friend do not worry and do not fret
It happens to us all I’ll bet
If you have it and you surely do
It will come right back to you
I lost it for quite some time
I’m now even sleeping in Ryme
@Ray,
Thanks…………….It should be back
“weeps red, weeps dead”. very strong image.
There is something about this verse that keeps me thinking
“The dirt blew red,
stains of it spread,
some wore it colored
and followed the word. ” following blindly or form idealism?
This poem of yours in not as simple as it looks and brings me back to re-read. I could not comment until now.
Gion
@Gion Gion,
Thanks a lot, yes you are right……..it started from playing with the word blood and giving a new shapeto the words blood………….
Thanks