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O DEATH ! WAIT FOR A DAY :
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once time, i was thinking about myself
I stand in my window side
and gaze the moon and the stars at night
for hear, Don’t make your way
O death ! wait for a day.
A dusty layer that spreads on my childhood memories and toys of clay
let the remove the dust, I want to play
so have mercy, I pray
O death ! wait for a day.
I want help of poor who stay an open place and came my door
let me remove my mistake i want to share
so don’t hurry be steady and make a delay
O death ! wait for a day.
let wet my body through the raindrops
many times they have stolen my sorrow
i want smell of white flower, may be it rains tomorrow
so let on more hair of mine grow Grey
O death ! wait for a day.
let me last wish, I pray
a soul that makes me go with pleasure
a soul be bless me with last sigh
a soul for which eyes will fall tears
a soul for her who loves me too much
and thanks to death, for a day
even after I die
Before the darkness knocks
and before the light appeared dim…………….
I am sorry to point out and feel that there are very many grammatical mistakes in the language in this English poem, which have to be edited and corrected before it can be worthy of being classified as one.
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki ble hi iis poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga
A nice poem,Sanjay. Pls heed to
Vishvji’s advice.
@medhini,
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki ble hi iis poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna
ath mai iis me koi parivartan nahi chahta hu
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga
@Sanjay singh negi
I wish you had explained this as a preamble to the poem.
It is to be understood that p4poetry is like a “Poet’s platform”, a “Kavi Manch” of members who have passion for poetry and want to grow together in company and in interaction with each other with each other’s advice and guidance.
There is therefore a responsibility and duty of members who read and comment on the poem to tell as to how they felt the poem, to encourage & guide the authors and also to point out where the post has mistakes and is not up to the mark so that the poem can be suitably & appropriately corrected/revised/improved as a valuable feedback to the author.
What you have indicated may be a proper incident/ understanding/ encouragement in school where pupils are beginning to learn writing English, but I am of the opinion that here wrong grammatically incorrect English in poems should not find encouragement. Members here are not coming to learn English and expect the authors who post English poems to write them in correct English.
I hope I have been able to make myself understood.
Further an 8th STD student writing an English poem about death & telling death to wait for a day, is very intriguing.
@Vishvnand,
sir mai chama chahta hu
ki maine aapke dil ko thes pahunchayi hai
pr aadmi kuch pahli cheejo ko sambalta hai jaishe ki salary se liya huve pahle kapde bale hi wo uske baad kitne bhi achhe kapde pahn le pr aadmi unko waishe hi sambal kar rakhta hai or prem karta hai jaishe wo kharidte waqt karta tha
ushi parkar yah kavita bhi hai
bs meri galti hai ki maine kavita ke head me apne in bavo ko mention nahi kiya tha. pr ab ki jitni bhi kavita hia aap unme muje jarur point out kare or muje comment bhi kare ki kaha pr galti hai
ek baar phir se hath jodh kar maafi
or thank u for understood urself
Sanjay,
this seems to be a very good poem if you sort out the grammar.
Is it a translation or have you tried to write it in English?
Either way I can feel emotions in it and can appreciate the imagery
Gion
@Gion Gion,
@medhini,
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki ble hi iis poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna
ath mai iis me koi parivartan nahi chahta hu
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga
@medhini,
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki bale hi is poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna
ath mai is me koi parivartan nahi kar sakta hu
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga
@Vishvnand,
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki ble hi iis poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna
ath mai is me koi parivartan nahi kar sakta hu
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga
@Gion Gion,
thnx for compliment sir ji
pr sir ji mai is poem me koi change nahi kar sakta
kyunki ye meri likhi sabse pahli poem hai
jo ki maine class 8 me likhi thi or school me sunaii bhi thi
to us time isko kaffi sarahniy poem kaha gaya tha
or kah gaya ki ble hi iis poem me galtiya hai pr ye ek bachhe ke dimag se nikli hai
is liye mere sir ne kaha tha ki isko kabhi change mat karna ath mai is me koi parivartan nahi kar sakta
iis ke liye mai sry kahunga