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Just Another Day
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English Poetry |
It is just another day….
Of dried up leaves littering the pathway
Fermented emotions rising to the brim
Worms spilling out in the sultry day
Crackling barbs and leaping flames
With a little chill sprinkled in the air
Memories of last winter rushing back
Your feelings out in the open n bare
Our relationship trampled and cracked
The air is heavy with panting breaths
The swaying tree branch finally snapped
Our relationship has died many deaths
The ghosts are still circling,trapped.
The Sun rays trying hard to reach
Cobwebbed corners and groaning creaks
A sobbing sound and then a breach….
A solitary tear traverses the cheek
Tried to do the rhyming style once again but must say that it slows down the process and hampers the flow of words n emotions
Renu,
well you almost cracked it!
“Your feelings out in the open n bared” – change to (open, bare) or (open and bare) and you have a perfect repeating ABAC rhyming scheme that reads well with and without supporting rhymes.
Imagery-wise the end of autumn / approach of winter suits the theme in a classic style given a personal touch.
Last two lines very touching. A very expressive write.
Fergus
@Gion Gion, Thanks Gion- have updated as per your advise 🙂
Its too heavy to handle .Kaash main bhi gahrai samajh pata.Iam really feeling bad for not getting it completely .Moderator sir could you please explain .Sorry Renu mam It’s my fault.
@rajivsrivastava, WOuld be glad to answer your questions…..what did you not really understand? Is it the language or the emotions?
@renu rakheja, Thanks a lot ! I consulted dictionary to learn few new words I came across ,but actually what this poem exactly wants to convey I could not get .
@rajiv srivastava, Rajiv ji- I like the readers to interpret themselves what the poem conveys.If I spell it out- then the fun of interpreting it is lost.I am sorry you could not understand what the poem is trying to convey- so be it ! 🙁
@renu rakheja, MY hard luck ! Thanks
A Dilemma after One day !
well Renu ji . I have some questions ….will ask later .
Nice one …congratulations ****
@Bhavana, Thanks Bhavana.You can ask me here or at renu@p4poetry.com
Proved ur intelligence beautifully
Personification express everything about the deep emotions within
liked the way you have presented it
@vibha mishra, Thanks Vibha
A lovely and magnificent one,
I must say, Renu.
BTW-I couldn’t receive a reply
from Vikas regarding Forum
Pass word.
@medhini, Thanks Medhini- will remind Vikash
Outstanding ………..
This is nothing but a “Dhamaka”
Loved it very MUCH
You are awesome in English also in context of PAIN.Wonderfull poem-perfect expression.
Beautiful poem encompassing intense emotions.
Liked immensely.
Kudos
The Part, I could understand found superb. I hope remaining part should also be the same.
Congrats !!!