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Just Another Day

4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 54 votes, average: 4.50 out of 54 votes, average: 4.50 out of 54 votes, average: 4.50 out of 54 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5
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English Poetry

It is just another day….
Of dried up leaves littering the pathway
Fermented emotions rising to the brim
Worms spilling out in the sultry day
Crackling barbs and leaping flames

With a little chill sprinkled in the air
Memories of last winter rushing back
Your feelings out in the open n bare
Our relationship trampled and cracked

The air is heavy with panting breaths
The swaying tree branch finally snapped
Our relationship has died many deaths
The ghosts are still circling,trapped.

The Sun rays trying hard to reach
Cobwebbed corners and groaning creaks
A sobbing sound and then a breach….
A solitary tear traverses the cheek

18 Comments

  1. renu rakheja says:

    Tried to do the rhyming style once again but must say that it slows down the process and hampers the flow of words n emotions

  2. Gion Gion says:

    Renu,
    well you almost cracked it!
    “Your feelings out in the open n bared” – change to (open, bare) or (open and bare) and you have a perfect repeating ABAC rhyming scheme that reads well with and without supporting rhymes.
    Imagery-wise the end of autumn / approach of winter suits the theme in a classic style given a personal touch.
    Last two lines very touching. A very expressive write.
    Fergus

  3. rajivsrivastava says:

    Its too heavy to handle .Kaash main bhi gahrai samajh pata.Iam really feeling bad for not getting it completely .Moderator sir could you please explain .Sorry Renu mam It’s my fault.

  4. Bhavana says:

    A Dilemma after One day !
    well Renu ji . I have some questions ….will ask later .
    Nice one …congratulations ****

  5. vibha mishra says:

    Proved ur intelligence beautifully
    Personification express everything about the deep emotions within
    liked the way you have presented it

  6. medhini says:

    A lovely and magnificent one,
    I must say, Renu.
    BTW-I couldn’t receive a reply
    from Vikas regarding Forum
    Pass word.

  7. nitin_shukla14 says:

    Outstanding ………..
    This is nothing but a “Dhamaka”
    Loved it very MUCH

  8. neeraj guru says:

    You are awesome in English also in context of PAIN.Wonderfull poem-perfect expression.

  9. Vishvnand says:

    Beautiful poem encompassing intense emotions.
    Liked immensely.
    Kudos

  10. Harish Chandra Lohumi says:

    The Part, I could understand found superb. I hope remaining part should also be the same.
    Congrats !!!

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