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It’s a problem, greeting…..!

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English Poetry, Uncategorized

It’s a problem, greeting…..!

Greeting someone is not as simple as it often looks
Responses could be such you’ll not know where to look.

One morning, an elderly acquaintance I greeted “Sir, how do you do?”
He made me feel miserable retorting “What the hell have you got to do?”

Another one I greeted “Sir how do you do”
Said “Don’t ask my advice, do as you want to do.”

This is one more; “Good morning sir, how do you do”
“This is a very personal question, why should I tell you?”

Some times when you ask someone “How do you do”
The person takes it as a license to stop you
And go on & on with his history you don’t want to listen to.
That’s why I think now just a “Hi” has displaced “How do you do”

At one time an executive director, a counterfeit in our company
Was wished “Good Morning” by a simple employee of the company
“What is good about the morning” He said “you only interrupted my thinking.”

When a collegian, in Mumbai I greeted an elderly acquaintance
He was with a briefcase in hand walking towards the nearby local Rly. station
Summoning good manners I said “Good morning sir; Going to office?”
He nodded in appreciation & said yes, but my friend with me got upset.
Said “Good morning was ok, but asking ‘Going to office?’ was foolish & superfluous
Where else you think he would have been going at this time if not office?”
I did not reply, the man had an elegant daughter, my friend sure got jealous …..!



  1. Apurva Bharat Gaglani says:

    This is a nice one. The last three verses are very interesting, I read them with interest. The 2-line verses in the beginning are ok. Would like to add, that in India jealousy is a national trait.

    • Vishvnand says:

      @Apurva Bharat Gaglani
      Thank you very much for your considered comment on the post
      While penning this one an under current of thought was going on in my mind which I have given in response to Shri Harish Lohumi’s comment

  2. Sir ,
    The formal English greeting of ” how do you do ?’ is a bit confusing. You have rightly tapped the humour element. Santa said ” ask my wife “.

    • Vishvnand says:

      My My, that’s indeed an effortless “six” of an answer putting the greeter in a real fix….:-)

      Profuse thanks for the comment

  3. siddhanathsingh says:

    was it merely greeting in the last few lines or a fairmis of greeting with cheating.

  4. Harish Chandra Lohumi says:

    Thanks for sharing such nice collection of acknowledgements on greeting. very real.
    By the way.. How do you do you Sir ! 🙂

    • Vishvnand says:

      @Harish Chandra Lohumi
      Thanks for the comment on the posting.
      Now about your ” How do you do” …. At my stage in life, I tend to realize that in whole of my life I have done nothing. Everything whatever is done, “He” has done & got it done working through me or without.
      In our custom you will realize there is no such thing as ” How do you do”. The original greetings are always ” Jai Ram ji kii” or “Paay lagii”” or ” Namaste” or some such sort related to respect/remembrance of God and/or respect for elders. We never ask ” How do You do” at least as the initial greeting.
      …. 🙂

  5. jaspal kaur says:

    बिलकुल सही कहा आपने. मैं सुबह छत पर पोधों को पानी देती हूँ तो अक्सर मेरी पड़ोसन भी छत पर होती है जो के बजुर्ग है. मैं आदतन उन्हें नमस्ते करती हूँ और पूछती हूँ कैसे हैं आप? तो जवाब मिलता है कैसी दिखती हूँ . जवाब ऐसा होता है मानो क्यों पूछा. खुद ही शर्मिंदा होना पढता है. अब सोच रखा है सिर्फ नमस्ते ही ठीक है.
    आप की रचना भी सचाई दर्शाती है. बहुत interesting है.

  6. Gion Gion says:

    greetings may vary in form but are probably all just etiquette. Likewise all response should be at a par. However, we are all mere humans – to misunderstand intent or just being cranky.
    Funny anecdotes though.
    “Good Morning!” – “Is it? Where is your evidence for this wild assertion?” 🙂
    Lastly, when asking questions do be prepared for unexpected answers 🙂

    • kusumgokarn says:

      @Gion Gion, Vishvanandji,
      I think this poem is to be taken in a spirit of fun.

    • Vishvnand says:

      @Gion Gion,
      Thank you indeed for your very considered reply.
      I agree the words & mannerisms used in greetings are customs emerging from years of culture of the place and are always well intentioned but do create humor when used or responded to inappropriately. To illustrate this was my intention of this posting

  7. rajdeep bhattacharya says:

    I did not reply, the man had an elegant daughter, my friend sure got jealous …..!
    i loved the verse very much
    it made me laugh

    Any way How do you do Sir?

    Hi hi


    • Vishvnand says:

      @rajdeep bhattacharya
      Thank you so very much for the comment.
      I am well, in very fine way 🙂 & more happy today because after a long time at site I have found you and it is for me to ask you; How are you? Where were you ?& How are you doing?.

  8. medhini says:

    Another hilarious piece from you.
    Enjoyed this poem written in a
    lighter vein, Vishvji.

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