| « रहमत हुई आज मेरे खुदा की मुझपर | PPT-Phukkad Piakkad Thukkad » |
©arbon paper
   Loading... |
Crowned Poem, English Poetry, Uncategorized |
Inside me
the coal burns
eternally..
Ashes
become a thick layer
of an obscure
Life –
Breathing dense
on my fragile memory.
Outside me
the forest burns
savagely..
Woods
shrink into
Empty spaces
of mute paper,
Enduring secrets
of my lost memory.
Paper & Carbon
Together ~
Retain my present
As past.
As future.
~
Carbon Paper
clean & creaseless,
Placed neatly
Behind
my neat memory.
I’m preserved ~
At least, for now.
Good attempt in what is seemingly not that interesting a topic.
Priyal,
brilliant.
The title seems to speak of our preferred edition of ourselves.
I like the way the scene shifts back and forth within and without.
The imagery of fire, coal, ash, carbon, wood, paper wonderfully interlink – morphing and mutating.
Is our fuel source eternal only elementally? What state or phase or number do we hold or recognise now? Verse 3 & 4 are inspired, beautiful.
I thought I had reached the end at “Together” then saw the next 2 verses.
This, for me, is one of your most accessible poem but it is full of depth and intricacy and intimacy. It goes literally to the core of our being which in physical terms is as fragile as the thinnest sheet of paper.
Fergus
@Gion Gion,
Priyal,
Short but power-packed lines with depth of meaning.
From woods to paper and back to ashes.
Cycle of life.
And a lovely poem born between the leaves.
Kusum
Hi Priyal,
Well composed , the to and fro movement of time is well mantained The elemental differences between the inner mind and the outer world too, is well defined . Carbon paper as one which creates and preserves a facsimile is excellent. Liked the last couplet a lot .
sarala.
Beautiful poem indeed
Liked immensely.
What will happen when it will be a paperless, carbon paper-less world which we want and are moving towards it…?
An excellent poem with depth., Priyal.
SUPERB!!!!
“i am preserved
at least for now…”
are we all giving in to depression?the desire to live is close to nil…yes, i was with you travelling through the time of oblivion.look at the imagery, mostly dark.
“give me dungeon
let me be
in
see how i scratch through
those cells
dig
pierce
see if a new world
comes alive.”
THANKS PRIYAL…THANKS.u have rattled me after a long while…lol.
Fergus has the best comments esplly because he gets into the matter of the poetry unlike most of us who just happen to float…
very magnetic way of expressing your feelings…..well done….
outstanding is all i can say !!! 🙂