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Betrayal
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English Poetry, Jul 2011 Contest |
When you begin to barter your soul
When even virtue has it’s own price
When humanity dies within you
Betrayal, the monster is on the rise
When God is being hoodwinked
When a mother is being sold
When conscience is a taboo
Betrayal, the monster will unfold
When innocents die in blasts
When the response is so meek
When scams vie for honours
Betrayal, the monster has the cheek
When lofty speeches mean nothing
Freedom fighters lost lives in vain
The enemy within, worse than without
Betrayal, the monster HAS risen again
Hi Viju,
Superb , well composed , great choice of words. Touched the soul .Keep it up.
sarala
@SARALA KURUP JAGAN,
Thank you Sarala. Of all betrayals one can think of, betraying your own motherland seems to hurt me the most.
Hi Viju ,
Please replace ‘conscious ‘ with ‘conscience ‘.Gives that line more context.
sarala
@SARALA KURUP JAGAN,
Thank you for correcting the inadvertent slip up…@ more body 2 the line…well just meant to be simple, conscience is taboo, outdated
Very nice poem with good flow and well rhymed,Viju.
@medhini,
Thanks Medhini
Viju,
“When scams vie for honours” – good line.
Gion
@Gion Gion,
Thank you Gion, seems the mother of all betrayals
The poem is a very meaningful take on betrayal penned beautifully indeed .
Liked immensely.
Hearty commends…
In the world of today we have to learn to distinguish between a real betrayal and the tiny betrayals that we may face in life and to deal with both differently to remain on track & enjoying.. 🙂
दिल ढूँढ़ता रहता क्यूँ वफ़ा इस जहान में
जो खुद ही बेवफाई के बिना है खुश नहीं ….
पीकर के प्यास बुझ सके वो प्यास ये नहीं….
@Vishvnand,
Yes sir, there are betrayals & betrayals. Betrayals of the heart, betrayal of trust, betrayals small & big. yet in the context of what hits you every moment these days is the betrayal the care takers, the protectors, the guardians, politicians in short, in whose hands the martyrs left the reins of our country, so blatantly display, seeming to take a pride, mocking at the country – kar lo jo karna hai. This mother of all betrayals is what i felt & wrote.
@viju,
Viju-ji,
Very apt choice of words & appropriate rhymes.
A very sensitive subject handled with great poise.
‘When God is being hoodwinked…”
Very powerful stanza.
Well done.
Kusum
@viju,
I think sooner than later now we will realize that uprising & violent movement without fear (and not non-violence) against these perpetrators will be the only solution to teach these corrupt rascals a lesson and bring the derailed nation on rails ….
good one , viju…….betrayel with one’s homeland is da biggest sin……
@Shubham Gupta,
I suppose Shubham that if one betrays ones Motherland, then nothing could be worse
good work
@Shubham Gupta,
& Thanx
Amazing selection of words… well tried!
@Tasneem HV,
Thanks Tasneem, glad u liked them
Great poem. This is one example where the absence of punctuation makes the flow better. Lovely! If I had a vote in the contest, I’d vote for you!
@saurabh,
Thank you Saurab, I believe simple is beautiful.
Well, yardsticks differ 😉
When conscience is a taboo
bare truth
When scams vie for honours
brilliant, no less!
@saurabh,
It is ‘the matter of fact’ in today’s India, lost on a few who steer us all. May this trend reverse as we have the potential