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Nature Lover
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English Poetry |
I feel the sun rising in your eyes,
Then see the radiant sky,
It’s all pale and low, Dull it glows,
When compare it to your kiss that fly.
I feel the warmth of the midday sun,
And the warmth of your hugs that come,
It droops me down the lane so high,
Then the rays feel too dry.
I feel the gentle breeze yet to come,
And I go all dumb,
Awaiting your presence, down the aisle,
Tired of all day rocking the cradle.
I feel the sun hiding from my eyes,
Behind the mountain down it dies,
Drowning the activity of the day,
Sitting with him all happy and at bay.
I feel the darkness embracing the sky,
No fear as my love besides me lye,
Sleeping tight in his arm,
Am sure no evil can cause any harm!!
Tasneem,
some nice descriptions and a serene feeling coming through the verses.
The repeating of “I feel the” works well in the poem. Trying to stick to rhyming couplets causes some of the rhymes to sound forced. As you are presenting verses of 4 lines may I suggest alternate rhyming schemes – ABCB or even ***D.
“Behind the mountain down it dies,
Drowning the activity of the day,” – liked these lines,
Gion