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THE LET-DOWN
English Poetry, Jul 2011 Contest |
She believed her love was strong ,
But her choice was fatally wrong.
He had meant to play
fast and loose: and wander away .
So, did he betray ?
nay, nay, nay .
Yet it is hard to say
who betrayed whom
and who walked to doom.
False were the promises made,
Barren the whispered stock-in -trade,
While bridges of Hope were burned
and all entreaties spurned.
The embers of love were doomed from the start
neither to stir the soul or the heart
Love, the highway- man, trod the road of Faith
Abjuring the routes of Hate.
When Judas went astray
and Jesus , he set to betray
whose soul did he deliver
for paltry pieces of silver ?
Did form ,then, betray the formless?
Did the Cock betray the stillness ?
Did silence betray the chillness?
Did Shylock betray his parsimony
when he called for flesh instead of money ?
Truth can never transcend
where deceit and lies are ends.
Betrayal is a false tongue
on which Trust is hung
and its dirge sung .
Very beautiful & an intense poem
Liked immensely
Stars 5
“Truth can never transcend
where deceit and lies are ends.
Betrayal is a false tongue
on which Trust is hung
and its dirge sung .” … too excellent meaningful poems’ end…
Nice and wonderful poem. However I would like to add, “When truth transcends the place where deceit and lies are ends, there God reigns.”
@Apurva Bharat Gaglani,
Apurva ,
Thank you for being bold enough to comment . I like the profound suggestion you have made . Give a rejoinder using those lines ….
sarala.
@Apurva Bharat Gaglani,
Hi Apurva ,
On second thoughts ,i would love to meet God there were truth transcends and deceit and lies end .
sarala .
Sir,
Thank you for your appreciation. Those lines reflect the scenario prevalent in every walk of life from education to politics
sarala
@SARALA KURUP JAGAN,
Rather complicated poem covering varied aspects of life. Leaves lot of scope for rumination & discussion.
Kusum
@kusumgokarn,
Hi
There is nothing complicated in there. Betrayal is the theme for the July contest.I I tried to show from daily dealings to spiritual stories to literature contain stories of betrayal. Its no big deal . For most it is a way of life.
sarala.
A very interesting poem well written,Sarala.
nice portrayal………..end is well sung.
@MEDHINI@ RAM
THANK YOU for the appreciation.
sarala
Sarala,
excellent. Great moves from personal to general. The linkages of the last 3 verses are handled very well and allow the verses their independence. A different handling of familiar imagery. great originality. Profound thoughts are well expressed in a stylish yet accessible language.
So now – 1 suggested correction, if I may? 🙂
“whose soul was it he sold
for paltry pieces of gold ?” – rather (whose soul did he deliver
for paltry pieces of silver?) – given the coins involved,
Fergus
@Gion Gion,
Gion Gion,
Thank you for this detailed analysis .This one began somewhere and ended elsewhere .
Of Course! corrections are welcome . Your suggestion taken and edit done . Merci beaucoup !!!
sarala
Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
betrayal is a false tongue…