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that girl on the pink boat…

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English Poetry, Sep 2011 Contest

I saw her balancing on the bricks
as her little origami sailed
through the water tricks,
she gently sways and whirls around
as though she’s the sailor
rowing past the troubled surround
and up above the cloud stout
diffuse together to roar aloud,
her fear trickled inside
as she shivered projecting it outside
pleading and praying as she cried
gradually looking at the sky
drops of rain rushed as water flow,
rowing the sail all to and fro,
her little palms where now the canopy,
protecting her little crafted beauty,
“thousand miles you have to go”
she sang, a they together artfully row…

13 Comments

  1. Parespeare says:

    nice creation…
    liked the poem immensely

  2. rajdeep says:

    nicely put
    Rhyming well

  3. Vishvnand says:

    delight in details & imagining
    is in this fine poem’s reading
    Enjoyed very much
    Hearty commends

  4. medhini says:

    A nice poem that brings delight, Sonal.

  5. Gion Gion says:

    Sonal,
    a lovely narration. Vivid descriptiveness.
    Catching the innocence of a child through the innocence that survives inside the adult.
    “rowing the sail all to and fro,
    her little palms where now the canopy,” – “where” should be (were). May I suggest that you change “rowing” to rocking?
    Fergus

  6. Gaurav Gupta says:

    Hi,
    good one.. is there more to this poem ?

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