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that Last Call..!
English Poetry |
Oh! I am lost yet again..
How hard i try,
to put a smile,
on my face so tired,
Of your love so futile.
Oh! Such a disgrace,
that I was subjected to,
despite my utmost try,
with all those hurting phrases,
left alone was I to cry..
Oh! Here you are back again
with your promises intact,
tears swell up your eyes,
with every word you speak,
and yet again they all appear petty lies.
Oh! How will you ever know?
the love that I lost long ago,
was the pain of your own deed,
that now inflict wounds,
so ruddy that it remains unhealed..
Oh! But I have a silent reply
to your unending interrogations,
child of your misled heart,
broken words with complaints so hard,
return to yourself and make a new start…
Nice one with feelings meticulous
Liked it as a whole but felt first stanza marvelous…
Suggest following corrections
“despite my utmost try”
“with all those hurting phrases”
@Vishvnand, thank you so much for appreciating..and also thankyou for the corrections..:)
Nice and nifty versification ! Many many thanks with a couple of
corrections needed:-
i) Using the preposition ‘of’ after ‘despite’ is erroneous and thus
needs to be obliterated (3rd line of the second stanza);
ii) ‘mislead’ needs to be rectified as ‘misled’ (3rd line of the last
stanza).
@ashwini kumar goswami, thankyou for your delighting comment..and for pointing out my errors and also helping me with corrections..:)
@sonal goswami,
Sadness of the mood comes through expressively to evoke empathy in the reader.
Kusum
@kusumgokarn, thankyou so much for appreciating.. 🙂