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Torment

1 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 51 vote, average: 4.00 out of 5
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Anthology 2013 Entries, English Poetry

Tattered pages
Loom large
Forming cages
Words guard.

Memories stumble
Emotions crumble
Images wander
Feelings whisper.

Waters restless
Volcanoes bursting
Oh so hapless
Pains boundless.

Torment writ
Greying tint
Pulsating twinge
Respite haint.

15 Comments

  1. these are certain words.no rhythm or flow.cannot even called a piece of poem.sorry for giving such a harsh comment.how can i help commenting on the words arranged or deranged meant for mere poesy.if all the emotions mesmerised the heart a bit——

    Thanks for the comment. Sorry you disliked it, but paying attention to criticism teaches a lot. In certain instances, a few words express more than an essay, while in others, the pain inside chokes words.

  2. s.n.singh says:

    captivating,what does heint means may throw light please.

  3. Gion Gion says:

    Parminder,
    I have read this 3 times (partly in light of previous comments) and am going over it again.
    Certainly there is rhythm in the lines. The simplicity of their brevity and the sibilant “s”s carry this well, I feel.
    I like the flexibility of the rhyming (ABAB AABB ABAA AABA) which does not weight style on the verses yet forms them as links. The variation of full, end and vowel rhymes is remarkable in the ease of reading, in my opinion. (large + guard, writ + twinge, tint + “heint” – is this feint or hint? – either could colour the ending very differently).
    The “pages” we are left to ponder as to whether of art or mundane life. How seemingly fragile things hold power(the tatter pages, the cage – bars yet with so much space between them)? The later verses seem also the play with the sense of the not wholly tangible.
    I also like the link of first and last verses with “pages” + “writ”.
    All that remains is clarification in the closing lines – “heint” – and let the reader wonder as to the person and tense of the word “writ”. Is the Torment the author or does the author hold the power in the pen?
    Very nice to read this poem and get my p4poetry mind working again.
    Thank you,
    Fergus

  4. Hi
    A kind of existential angst and tinge spelt out here . There is mystery at the end- No resolution only a constant continuity . nicely framed .
    sarala

  5. parminder says:

    achuthan vatakketath ravi
    Thanks for the comment. Sorry you disliked it, but paying attention to criticism teaches a lot. In certain instances, a few words express more than an essay, while in others, the pain inside chokes words.

  6. parminder says:

    Thanks Sidh ji. Haint means “is not or have not” in old English. I have corrected the spelling from heint to haint.

  7. parminder says:

    Thanks Fergus. Your analysis is always so detailed and beautiful. With “tattered pages” I meant old memories and only so much words are allowed to escape.And if only so much escapes, rest keeps accumulating forming a volcano, and from all the pain inside, respite is not available any where. Hence, “haint” : which is an old English word used for “have not.”
    Hope I have expressed myself suitably.

  8. parminder says:

    Thank you Sarala ji for your valuable comment.

  9. U.M.Sahai says:

    nicely penned poem, Parminder ji, congrats.

  10. Vishvnand says:

    Liked the poem, the style and the poetry in it immensely
    Changing Heint to haint has made the poem end beautifully
    Has shown the importance of every word in a classic poem, conclusively…. 🙂

    Kudos for the poem

  11. amit478874 says:

    First of all, I’m late to make a comment & Little to give an advise. But I like this poem & agree with the Seniors’ suggestions. Keep writing & sharing.. 🙂

  12. parminder says:

    Thank you Sahai ji, Vishva ji and Amit for the heart lifting comments. And Amit, it is never too late..

  13. Rajdeep says:

    I have learnt so many styles from your magnificent writing but this one is outstanding
    loved it Ma’am

  14. ula says:

    I love your poem,I feel youur silence, the form is very strong, congratulations you have found the way which can express your mood so clearly

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